If you are the parent of a child with reading difficulties at one point you may ask, "How do I know if my child is dyslexic?" Once you've answered that question for yourself, other parents will probably ask you the same thing. I'm no professional and certainly have no qualification to diagnosis my own or anyone else's child, but I am in the midst of round three for diagnosis (yep, a lot can happen in two years) so let me tell what I've seen and you tell me if it sounds familiar:
1. Loss of enthusiasm: With each of my children we noticed a marked and initially inexplicable loss of enthusiasm for reading. Our bright, inquisitive, imaginative children started the school year (kindergarten for one, first grade for the other two) with a jump in their step and a bright outlook and left it feeling dejected and frustrated. In hindsight, the decline in enthusiasm correlated with the incline of reading difficulty introduced in the classroom. Ok, so the work gets harder and the kid likes it less. That's perfectly normal, but wait...
2. Increased effort resulting in decreased performance: As I watched my children work at home, the amount of effort they put into their schoolwork should've resulted in high scores, but despite their hard work they consistently floundered just below average. There's nothing wrong with average mind you, but as their high input repeatedly resulted in a low scores, their frustration grew and that declining enthusiasm morphed into avoidance, belligerence, sadness, and anxiety.
3. Employment of coping skills: One of my darling dyslexics showed fairly pronounced and classic reversals. She was the one who started our adventure. After we knew what we were dealing with I noted more subtle reversals with my other children, BUT they had developed techniques that got them around the concept being taught and enabled them to achieve the desired end goal. They weren't being manipulative or intentionally evasive. They were developing and using coping techniques.
4. Observation of a broader use of reversals: Here's what I didn't know the first time around; dyslexia does not mean merely writing letters backwards. Not until we met with a specialist the first time did I learn that reversals manifest in writing both individual letters and numbers or complete words backwards. Reversals also occur in reading words backwards or just reversing small letter combinations within words, or may even be limited to reversing vowel combinations in words. Lastly, dyslexics often reverse the order in which they hear things, so instructions given in a list may be done in reverse order, or they may just become confused and unable to complete the task.
Ok, great. But what does all that actually look like? Picture an otherwise upbeat and well adjusted child slumped over in their chair, head down with tears in their eyes, moaning and whimpering after being asked to read a 10 page, first grade level book. Listen to them tell you they hate to read, that it's too boring, that they can't do it.
30 minutes of homework drags on painfully for more than an hour as you sit beside them trying to coach, coax, redirect, encourage, bribe, and cajole them to complete the assignment. They study verbally with you and know every detail for the quiz, but the quiz comes home marked in red with a failing grade. They practice the spelling list every day and know all the words, but the test looks like they never practiced at all. Eventually they simply refuse to do their homework. The teary eyes become full blown tantrums. They resent school and are reluctant to go or participate in class. They may even start to say they are stupid.
As they read out loud, words like "saw" are read as "was" and "has" is read as "saw." Sometimes as they track while they read they move their finger directly to the end of the word, then go to the front of the word, but say a word that starts with the ending letter sound. Words that end in -er are written as ending in -re and vowel combos like -ea and -ou usually end up as -ae and -uo. They can't tell from hearing it which words need a silent e on the end and which don't. They count out loud correctly but they write 13 as 31 and 26 as 29. 5 and 7 are usually written backwards.
They read their assigned homework book fluently but if you cover the pictures they suddenly don't know what the page says. If you point out words individually they can't tell you what it is unless they start at the beginning of the sentence and work their way to it. They sometimes forget to keep looking at the page while they continue to "read" the book they've memorized during their reading group that day. They try to guess a lot of words by context instead of sounding it out.
You give them logical instructions about ordinary tasks but they drop one or more steps from the list and end up perplexed. For example, you ask them to put on their shoes, grab their coat, and get in the car. They put on their coat, get in the car, and don't have on any shoes. They are more bewildered than you are as to why they are in their bare feet, in the garage, in January. You tell them to make their bed, pick up their clothes, and put the toys away in their room, and they stand there blankly. When you ask them why they aren't cleaning their room they say, "I don't understand how."
After our observations we opted to have professional assessments done to confirm our suspicions about our children's dyslexia. Even then we needed a second opinion with one of our children before we confirmed it. The official diagnosis was helpful in connecting us with resources and coordinating a support plan with our school. I have to say that even without it we still knew they were dyslexic. They seemed to know too. They just didn't know what to call it.
I know that overcoming dyslexia is possible and we pray for our children's success in doing so everyday. Their challenges are real but so are their abilities and I know they'll come out on top. I know they're smart. I know they're capable. I know that with the right help dyslexia will eventually become an enabling gift instead of a stumbling block. How do I know? Because I'm their mother, and there are some things moms just know.
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